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| Today marks the end of 2 years of saturated drama, torture, joy and everything just cham cham together! I really dunno how to feel cos everythings just passing too fast and I cant take a breath to really swallow all of this cos a levels are in 25 days and honestly im not too prepared :s
Its so :( :( :'( :s that theres gonna be no more lessons together as a whole class with the smarty pants guys at the back, with their funny comments (sometimes in hokkien or chinese), doing funny things and yet at the same time asking such intellectual questions that stun us, and us in the middle row having fun with occassional brotherly sisterly quarrels awkward moments cos of crushes and secrets.. Last yr I thought our class was pretty boring and sianz, but this year I really take that back! We're so special in each and our own way and we contribute to this hole of laughter and joy :) im really gonna miss our class and the whole whole atmosphere of class and lessons and breaks tgt and all the funny times and sad times.. Its like im so sad to move on, but yet im so happy I found this love, 09sh21 love :)
I guess im happy to move on cos for so long i've longggged to get out of the nightmares that haunt me everyday with all the drama that happened in j1.. The judging, and all the misunderstandings and rumours that i've been trying so hard to shake off and avoid.. But it always comes back, though sometimes caused by my own overthinking, but I guess its just good that I can finally put it down and move on and pray that it doesnt come back to haunt me.. Mistakes have consequences and I really hope i've 'done my term'..
2 years of junior college is really to a certain extent too short a time, but yet im sure that if the pace of life werent so quick, life wouldnt be as challenging or fun or so growth spurring as it was for me.. Without a doubt! Experiencing multiple setbacks and unhappy things and juggling all kinds of commitments and projects and academics and never ending competition and stress, im proud of myself for coming out alive! And what doesnt break you just makes you stronger, ii cant agree more..
Okok back to reality, 25 days to the final checkpoint!!! No more slacking, just chionggggging! Im gna continue this post after the 29th nov! Maybe when im tucked away in hongkong :)
And till then,
I love you so much valerie tammy yiyan clement gladys nijun weiqin donglum jialing wenhan darrin chiky shanjun shannon and everybbooodeeeee! I'll miss you all so much :(
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| Im so troubles disturbed confused dunno what to do or think or say now :s
I know I shouldnt care about what others think of me, but its reallly bad! I cant help but feel sad that they think of me this way yet I can do nothing in my power to change that impression of me.. I feel so helpless so stupid :(
And why does your mood affect me so much! :( is that it? Im so afraid to admit that its cos you actually mean something to me..
But still I will praise God amidst everything :)
How can I keep from singing your praise?
How can I ever say enough?
How amazing is your love
How can I keep from shouting your name?
I know I am loved by the king
And it makes my heart,
Wanna sing
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| Idk why, but im feeling all emo pejemo now :s
Do you actually know who your friends are? Or do you go along everyday, treating everyone like a friend, yet all they wanna know is what they can get out of being your friend.. Ikr, so scary.
I used to go arnd innocently thinking that everyone needs a friend just to talk to and not be lonely. Nobody deserves to be alone. Yupp but i've come to realise then out there, i've gotta get out of my stupid mindset that friends are there to be there for you, to encourage you, to look out for you. Cos as we all grow older, we mature, we grow up, we find out that friends come and go and you neeed to squeeze them dry, get whatever you can gain from them. As much as I might sound like im exaggurating, everyone knows in their heart how much that is true.
If you only could choose one, would you choose a friend who doesnt care a hoot abt you but when you really need him/her in the darkest point of your life he/she is there for you, or a friend who's here for you all the time but when you need him/her the most he/she hurts you by not caring?
Life's so miserable and sad now mugging and all and time to time i'd just stop and find pleasure in just simply thinking. Hahah thinking about the past, the present and what is to come. Thinking of promises made that will most likely be broken, about the things we said that we never meant.
I will never forget these two years of my life that I experienced so many things in my life that made me stronger, and hopefully into a better person. I just gotta tell myself, dont give up.. It'll be over soon and its off to new life new friends new environment in uni.. (provided I get into one) | | |
| Teeheehee i really really thank God and praise God for my a level chinese results! :) i really believe that its only with Gods help i could do it! Of course not forgetting ah dong and everyone is class who helped meeeee, i dunno how to thank you all enough.. I dunno leh, though this might be like such a ssmall and insignificant thing, its such a significant thing in my life because of all the support you guys gave me! When nijun was so happy for me, even more happy than me about my results, i really wanted to cry cos i was super touched :x whooooosh! Thank you guys so much :)
Hahhaha omgsh im gg crazy abt olympics swimming!! Super exciting hahaha plus i realised swimming people are all good looking! Hahah i wanna marry a swimmer since i cant swim and he can save me if i ever end up in a flood! :s hahaha. But will he save his mom or will he save me?
Ah schools so super stressful now, every single days a test, every single days a challenge, every single doesnt get any easier at all.. But i thank God for friends, really :) hehehe surprisingly i still look forward to school now just like in j1 :D i will miss you all much :(
I dunno what i did but honestly i dont really care anymore :s its up to you how you want things to turn out cos theres really nothing i can do :s its just annoying how i know you so well so lets just say i can tell? Bleah. Stop writing such stuff la its just immature..
Sean and charlene getting baptised! :D
Stop coming back and biting my backside horrrr! | | |
| im feeling super refreshed nowwww! hehe all ready to start mugging hardcore for prelims :)
i dunno what else to say but, God is so awesome, more awesome than my mind can fathom and so loving, more than i can bear! God's love is srsly overflowing from my spirit now and i just feeling like shouting it out loud! hehehehehehe.
Jesus loves me this i know,
for the Bible tells me so,
little ones to Him belong,
they are weak but He is strong :)
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